This is freakin' hillarious! This guy normally pisseth me off but I'm laughing too hard for that. "Germans pee sitting down and that's where this country is headed!" Wow! You can't even make stuff up this off the wall!
I agree with CS...you cannot make stuff like this up. It's just too out there for rational brains to even think of. This preacher is really stretching to find material to keep his flocks attention. Hilarious...thanks for sharing this.
When I see stuff like this, I'd like to interview the folks who attend his church. I'd like to ask them, "Sir, I see you've lost both your legs serving your country in Iraq. This must make it difficult for you to pee standing up. How does this message impact you?"
And, "Young lady, you are obviously about 14 years old...did this message encourage you in your understanding of God's great love for you? Did it give you a better grasp of who you are in Christ?"
I'd REALLY like to interview the Grandmas of the church--you know, the ladies who've been there since the beginning of time and who have developed the Potluck Dinner into an art form. I'd like to ask them, "Ma'am, you play an important role in developing the Sunday school curriculum. Will you be adding these vital verses to the teachings? Will you be making little cut-out felts for the boys to see what peeing standing up should look like?"
This blog is a *fun* attempt at figuring out what should truly be credited to Jesus, Religion, Hype, Tradition, Superstition, Satan, Oral Roberts and his Friends, or The Squirrel.
Jesus or Squirrel background
One Sunday a pastor was using squirrels for an object lesson for the children. He started, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly.
"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other nervously, but still no hands raised. "It jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause)..."
Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The pastor quickly called on him. "Well," said the boy, "I know the answer must be 'Jesus' ... but it sure sounds like a squirrel!"
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4 comments:
This is freakin' hillarious! This guy normally pisseth me off but I'm laughing too hard for that. "Germans pee sitting down and that's where this country is headed!" Wow! You can't even make stuff up this off the wall!
I agree with CS...you cannot make stuff like this up. It's just too out there for rational brains to even think of. This preacher is really stretching to find material to keep his flocks attention. Hilarious...thanks for sharing this.
Okay men, I'll be watching you! No wait, no I won't!
When I see stuff like this, I'd like to interview the folks who attend his church. I'd like to ask them, "Sir, I see you've lost both your legs serving your country in Iraq. This must make it difficult for you to pee standing up. How does this message impact you?"
And, "Young lady, you are obviously about 14 years old...did this message encourage you in your understanding of God's great love for you? Did it give you a better grasp of who you are in Christ?"
I'd REALLY like to interview the Grandmas of the church--you know, the ladies who've been there since the beginning of time and who have developed the Potluck Dinner into an art form. I'd like to ask them, "Ma'am, you play an important role in developing the Sunday school curriculum. Will you be adding these vital verses to the teachings? Will you be making little cut-out felts for the boys to see what peeing standing up should look like?"
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