Halloween Candy is Evil, and other Prophetic Insights

Charisma Magazine and Pat Robertson both ran an article by Kimberly Daniels about the evils of Halloween. Daniels is "a sought-after conference speaker and preacher" and "a recognized prophetic voice." Here is a sample of her warnings which Charisma labeled as "Prophetic Insight."
During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

Even the colors of Halloween (orange, brown and dark red) are dedicated. These colors are connected to the fall equinox, which is around the 20th or 21st of September each year and is sometimes called "Mabon." During this season witches are celebrating the changing of the seasons from summer to fall. They give praise to the gods for the demonic harvest. They pray to the gods of the elements (air, fire, water and earth).

Mother earth is highly celebrated during the fall demonic harvest. Witches praise mother earth by bringing her fruits, nuts and herbs. Demons are loosed during these acts of worship. When nice church folk lay out their pumpkins on the church lawn, fill their baskets with nuts and herbs, and fire up their bonfires, the demons get busy. They have no respect for the church grounds. They respect only the sacrifice and do not care if it comes from believers or non-believers.
You can read the more of her nonsense here.

Please remember that if you love Jesus that you must not do the following:
  • Buy candy
  • Eat candy
  • Pray about candy
  • Open your door
  • Say, "Trick or Treat"
  • Leave pumpkins outside
  • Wear a costume
  • Wear the colors orange, brown (sorry Cleveland fans) and dark red
  • Warm yourself to a fire on church grounds (please remember it only takes a spark)
  • Be thankful for the harvest (It will be okay to do this in November. Thanksgiving is a Christian holiday celebrated by Jesus since he was little.)
Come back next week when Daniels will explain to us the evils of eating Gay candy and present a new list of banned treats, including:
  • Mike & Ikes
  • Almond Joy
  • Pixy Stix

3 comments:

Britiney said...

You're so naughty. In a good way.

David Lamar Wheeler said...

I didn't know Mike and Ike were like Ben and Jerry... Thank you for the insight.

co_heir said...

I handed out candy Friday night and ate quite a bit this weekend. You know, I have been feeling a bit other worldly the last couple of days. :)

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