Jimmy Kimmel shines the light on Christian Protestors

spotlight_on_jesus A group known as "Survivors of the Abortion Holocaust" picketed outside Jimmy Kimmel’s studio.

The news report I read didn’t mention why they had targeted Jimmy. It could have been that they didn’t like his response to Tim Tebow’s Pro Life Superbowl ad. It could have been that he used to date Sarah Silverman who can be shockingly perverse. Or it could have been that they aren’t allowed to laugh at his jokes so they’d like him to be taken off the air.

Some of the members of Jimmy’s crew taunted the picketers and turned their commercial spotlights on them. The survivors claim to have been injured by the high intensity lights. Seems the protesters crave the spotlight but are burned when they get it.

Having not gotten the message that Jimmy and his friends don’t appreciate their presence the group has now demanded an apology and decided to renew their protest to the front of the studio.

Maybe this is a just a clever way to turn the other cheek. Hopefully they can even out their tans.

Is Jesus is a Tagger?

onenationundergodWhen a secular group in Charlotte, N.C. recently put up a large billboard with the words “One Nation Indivisible” choosing to omit the words “under God” that had been inserted in the American Pledge of Allegiance, somebody added it back in.

Seeing that this atheist propaganda took place on Billy Graham Parkway, the police are expected to find out where the elderly evangelist spent yesterday evening . If his hands are clean of the blue spray paint they may need to question a higher authority. Or a Squirrel.

The Reason Natalee Holloway Died

200px-Natalee_Holloway_yearbook_photo The preacher was nearing his crescendo in his message to the teens and their adult parents.

“And do you want to know why Natalee Holloway is dead?”

Even though I thought about yelling out the answer like we were playing a trivia game I rightly surmised that this was a rhetorical question.

“She died in Aruba because she was drunk. She has herself to blame.”

Now I was speechless.

“And her mother too. Her mom allowed her to go to a country where the drinking age is lower than the US. She knew that her daughter was going there to drink. And now her daughter is dead.”

Now I was angry.

Though I can appreciate that this preacher has seen the damage that can result from alcoholism and drunkenness he is using bad judgment when he combines the gospel with his fear based message to try and keep kids from drinking.

Natalee Holloway is dead because she was murdered. It doesn’t matter how drunk she was, what her motivation in going to Aruba was, or even who she chose to hang out with. She and her family were the victims of a violent crime by a murderer. And any person that tries to shift the blame on the Holloways is calloused, and any message that does so is ignorant hype.

The Original Star Wars Premise

An article in the WorldNetDaily asks this question.

Is it possible the return of Jesus Christ to Earth has been foretold not only in the Bible, but also in the night sky since the creation of the universe?

A Christian minister who uses NASA tracking of solar and lunar eclipses in his teaching of the great event is now explaining how at least one constellation is an outright declaration of the "Second Coming."

arcturus-bootes Mark Biltz, a pastor from Washington bases his premise on a star called Arcturus, which is mentioned in the Job 9:9.

If one were to consult a map of the night sky, Arcturus could be found in the "left knee" of a constellation called Bo-otes (often spelled Bootes), meaning "the Coming One," depicted as a warrior coming to harvest, according to Biltz, citing previous research by noted 19th century Bible scholar E.W. Bullinger who wrote "The Witness of the Stars."

Biltz explains the Hebrew word translated as "Arcturus" in Job comes from the same root word found in the Book of Joel discussing the return of Jesus, but is rendered in Joel 3:11 as "assemble."

"The word 'assemble' is the same word that is translated as 'Arcturus' in Job," he said. "So it means the same thing, to assemble, to come. And if you'll notice the word 'come' is 'bo,' which is the name of this constellation: 'Bo-otes.' So this constellation .... He's got a sickle in one hand and a spear in the other. This is a sign of the Messiah who says 'I'm coming.' That's what this constellation is all about, the Coming One. In Revelation it talks about He has a sickle in His hand."

The Squirrel looks up in the sky and sees lots of pretty, white lights, but has never seen a spear or sickle.

Why Jim turns away Aids Orphans

From the Mission Network News

Al with PNG ChildWith the highest rate of AIDS infection in the world, sub-Saharan Africa--Zambia, especially--has an astounding number of orphans. Coupled with improper hygiene and poor conditions, the death and illness rates have soared in the Misisi Compound of Lusaka, Zambia.

Such a crisis breaks the hearts of Kids Alive International workers, especially field director Jim Kongwa. He told Kids Alive he can no longer hold orphans brought to him because almost all of them are turned away for lack of facilities; many later die from malnutrition or other forms of neglect.

Since Kids Alive cannot help each of these individual kids, they have developed a program titled "Families Together," which empowers the relatives of orphans and vulnerable children to care for these kids.

Without this program, most of these children would either die or be forced to live on the streets, resigned to prostitution or criminal activity to make a living. Instead, "Families Together" provides food, clothing and other necessities. Additionally, as Kids Alive looks to rebuild the lives of kids, they also piece together and restore the community around them, ultimately sharing the hope Christ offers them for today and the future.

While the need is staggering and it is easy to get discouraged by such a momentous this task, Kids Alive is starting out small to help the kids they can, then broadening their scope once the program takes off. Currently, they are looking to reach out to 25 kids in the most dire of circumstances.

Find out more on their Website

Bikers are Dysfunctional, and Love Key Chains

Biker Chaplain Scott Bush, 48, has been ministering to bikers for nearly 20 years, the last five years as a nationally appointed Assembly of God Missionary

Wheel of Dysfunction“At biker rallies, we set up a booth just like any other vendor and I have a motorcycle wheel called the 'Wheel of dysfunction.' We spin it and whatever dysfunction it lands on, that's the biker's dysfunction. They'll spin the wheel and land on one of these dysfunctions and their buddies will start laughing, and in less than two minutes we've built a relationship, a rapport with them," Bush says. "We then take them to the tent because everyone who spins, wins a prize, and we give them a salvation bracelet or key chain - at that point, we explain the steps to salvation and then God does the rest."

"As I tell my volunteers, if you can win someone to you, you can win them to the Lord," Bush says. "If they don't like you, you're not going to be very successful."

For more information about Chaplain Scott Bush's ministry to bikers or to learn how to volunteer with his ministry, see his Web site.

Mockery Gets You Nowhere

Four Christian Attorney’s on a Mission to Judge

A group of conservative Christian attorney’s in California were attempting to win judicial seats from judges who didn’t pass their muster.

Welcome to BetterCourtsNow.com. The most innovative approach to unifying the moral vote. Better Courts Now, is an attempt to network with you in a way that allows you to become a change agent in making judges accountable. Join the fight and let your voice be heard!

"We believe our country is under assault and needs Christian values," said Craig Candelore, a family law attorney who is one of the group’s candidates. "Unfortunately, God has called upon us to do this only with the judiciary."

Apparently Jesus forgot to vote. All four sitting, godless judges won by hefty margins, each garnering about two-thirds of the vote. This equates to 66.6%, which we all know is the Mark of the Beast.

Anglican Church says Overpopulation may Break Eighth Commandment

In a bold move for a Christian church, Australia's Anglican Church has linked overpopulation to the eighth commandment given to Moses on Mount Sinai: 'Thou shall not steal', according to The Age.

The General Synod (the governing body of Australia's Anglican Church) has released a discussion paper that states "out of care for the whole of creation, particularly the poorest of humanity and the life forms who cannot speak for themselves […] it is not responsible to stand by and remain silent [on the issue of overpopulation]."

So apparently what God really meant was “Be fruitful, but don’t over-multiply.”

Can Your VBS Deliver what the Children Want?

An article from Tennessee TV station WBIR

It looks and feels like a rock concert. The lights and sound create electric energy.

"This ain't your grandma's VBS," First Baptist Concord Pastor Doug Sager.

It's Concord Quest, a five day vacation Bible school where 3,000 young people will pack the sanctuary at Concord, to view a powerful production.

"The villain Verigon is trying to take over Dani who's the leader of the Jets the band, and brainwash them into following him," VBS student Jackson Bowder says.

Inspired by the movie X-Men, Concord created a live theatrical performance with an original script and music.

"We try to find out what's hot, what the kids are talking about and then we kind of write the script," Sager says.

The story of good vs. evil is more alive than ever, thanks to the church's media and production team. The tech savvy VBS is what draws hundreds of young people every year.

"They've got ipods, I mean they're on the internet everyday, and when they come to church and we don't have something that's high tech for them they get the idea that church is irrelevant, that church is boring," Sager says. "We have a group of folks here that get it, so when kids walk in here for our VBS it's power."

If the music and flash doesn't do it, Concord is hip on the latest fad called silly bands.

"The kids trade them, that's what I've been doing all morning is swapping with kids," Sager says. "I'll say, 'i'll trade you a guitar for a mic and a boom or I'll trade you a guitar for a drum set.'"

Didn’t Jesus have some powerful words of warning about keeping children from actually coming to Him?

Christian Movie Marathon

On Saturday, June 12th, the NRB Network will broadcast ten hours of inspiring, Christian movie classics.

Now I don’t have cable, but I’ve seen my share of religious programming. I’ve never heard of any of these 10 films.

  • Late One Night
  • Invisible Enemies
  • Second Glance
  • Future Tense
  • Pamela's Prayer
  • Behind The Sun
  • The Gathering
  • Bamboo in Winter
  • Years of The Beast: Part 1 of 2
  • Years of The Beast: Part 2 of 2
  • What makes these movies classic?

    Now if they played “A Thief in the Night” that would be classic!

    Born-again Big Brother in Britain

    David VaughanAccording to Christian Today

    A born-again Christian minister who believes in UFOs and time travel is one of the 14 contestants selected for the last ever series of Big Brother.

    David claims to have travelled through time and space. He became a Christian nearly 20 years ago after a period of dabbling with drink and drugs and is the chief organizer of alternative Christian festival, Sloshfest, which encourages revelers to party on a natural high brought on by their belief in God.

    Ultrasound Jesus

    jesuswomb ChurchAds say their upcoming Christmas ad in England is not meant to be a pro-life campaign the way that Britain’s national Secular Council claims.

    "Our poster reflects this new way of announcing the news of a new arrival and places the birth of Christ in an ultra-contemporary context."

    Apparently this picture is something Joseph would have pinned up in the carpenter’s shop and something that Mary would have treasured in her heart.

    Is that Snake Oil or Jesus’ Blood?

    See what happens when Prophet Woody Martin from Tennessee gets called on the carpet for his magical Blood of Jesus elixir.

    Found on JesusNeedsNewPR.net and Funtimeinternet.com

    A Relaxing Alternative to Yoga

    Since many Christians perceive yoga to be demonic in nature, The Squirrel is suggesting another proven way to contort your body into the same, relaxing positions. It’s called Drinking.

    Savasana
    Position of total relaxation.
    image0013

    Balasana
    Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.
    image0021

    Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
    This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.
    image003

    Marjayasana
    Position stimulates the midirift area and the spinal comumn.
    image004

    Halasana
    Excellent for back pain and insomnia.
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    Dolphin
    Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.
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    Salambhasana
    Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.
    image007

    Ananda Balasana
    This position is great for massaging the hip area.
    image008

    Malasana
    This position, for ankles and back muscles.
    image009

    Thanks to Robynn and  http://yougottobekidding.wordpress.com

    No Wonder the Shepherds Trembled

    You won’t want to miss a second of this classic.

    Found on Christian Nightmares

    Church Cross to double as Cellphone Tower

    monocross A church—in Florida of course—is getting bad reception from some of its neighbors for wanting to put a 130-foot cellphone tower on its property.

    The pastor, Rev. Willie Israel, says that the cross “is a symbol of who we are as a Christian community." In actuality, the money to be made by leasing out the space for a tower (rumored to be $18,000-$26,000 a year) is a symbol of the consumerism that is rampant in American churches.

    Let me be the first to predict that some church will have the audacity to put three towers on their property to match Jesus’ crucifixion scene and then attempt to rent them out to ATT, Sprint, and Verizon.