Italian Monks call for Plague of Diarrhea

jesus with gun

GIVE ME BACK MY BIBLE!!! (Jesus in his best Mel Gibson voice from the movie Ransom.)

A group of Franciscan friars furious at the theft of bibles from their church in Florence have taken the unusual step of praying for the thief to be struck down by diarrhea.

Friars at the 15th century church of San Salvatore al Monte, which was a favorite of Michelangelo, were irritated when a rare and expensive bible disappeared from the lectern, and they flew off the handle when a replacement bible donated by a worshipper also went missing and within a few hours.

In a note, pinned up in full view of worshippers, the friars say they hope the thief sees the error of his ways. But in case he does not, they add: "We pray to God that the thief is struck by a strong bout of the shits."

This turn of events will, they hope, "encourage him to carry out no further thefts".

Described by La Stampa newspaper as "the product of the Tuscan ability to be ironic about anything", the note and its unorthodox request will be forgiven, claim one of the friars. "It is not exactly clean language," the friar said, "but we couldn't put up with it any longer. The Lord and the faithful will understand."

found at The Guardian

Apparently if someone needs a shirt, you are supposed to give them your jacket too. If they want you to carry their school books for a mile, you carry it a second one. But if they need, and take, your Bible, you should call down a good case of the shits on them.